Unequal Marriage

By Rev. David Wilson Rogers |  April 26, 2014

            There is a marriage that is in real danger of failing. Out of respect for the individuals involved, I will not give a lot of personal or identifying information, but I truly believe that by looking into the dangers of this marriage, we can all learn quite a lot.
             To begin with, the marriage is very one-sided. She happens to be blessed with a very good job and lots of really supportive friends. Devoted to advancing her career and maintaining her fulfilling social life, as she is, the wife tends to have very little, if any, time for her husband. He contributes greatly to their household, but she is often too busy to see the amazing blessings he provides. In fact, to see her in her devotion to friends and career, one would wonder if her husband was really there or if the wedding ring she wore was only for show. Some people actually questioned if he ever existed at all.
            This lopsided relationship has taken its toll. Her husband has never given up on her, but he does long for the day she would love and attend to him as she once did. Her devotion is another story. While there is rumor and gossip surrounding the serious or extent of any infidelity, there is doubt. Honestly, nobody has actually seen her cheating on her husband, but the way she casually flits about in her social circles and lack of known connection with her husband has given people reason to believe that she is seeking her marital fulfilment outside of their relationship.
            As time has contributed to this relationship, she has also grown to a point where she cannot truly say she knows him well at all. She knows who he is and if asked, will acknowledge him as her husband. When others, however, speak of how they know him and interact with him in the community, she is often puzzled to learn that there are aspects about her husband that she simply cannot imagine. The man others know simply is not the man she married.
            The sad thing is that in many ways their marriage is really a marriage in name only. They may occupy the same space, but in many ways they are hardly even housemates, let alone intimate, loving marital partners. Even when they are together, distractions and other interests tend to come between them in ways that—quite honestly—keep her occupied and keep him longing for more from her.
            Those who are close to the husband often wonder why he stays married to her. His simple replay is that he loves her and will not give up on, or abandon her. In fact, his love for this woman is so great, he remains faithful to the claim that he would even die for her.
            Of course, this is no ordinary marriage. In fact, the marriage in this illustration has little to do with the covenant between two people. Although you may know an actual marriage that reflects this disastrous and dysfunctional relationship, such is not the marriage that I have in mind as I write today. This is the marriage illustrated in scripture as the relationship between the church and Jesus Christ. How many of us resemble this bride in our own covenantal relationship with our savior?
            Part of the reason the Bible uses the illustration of marriage as an example of our relationship with God is because both marriages must be taken seriously and placed as a priority. As Christians we cannot be in a relationship that is likened to a divine marriage if we exist only for our own selves, have little to no communication with our sacred spouse, or acknowledge the relationship only when asked. As Christians, it is a priority that we always hold our relationship with Christ as important as we would a healthy, Godly marriage.